Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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