im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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