idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
