Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
