Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
