Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I cut my penus on the lid.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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