oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
