I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
