But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
