I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
