I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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