we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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