Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
