so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
