id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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