ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
