Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
