im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
