Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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