I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
