Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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