Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
