you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
