how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
