So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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