i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
