im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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