It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
