You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I intend to get homeless drunk
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
