My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
