Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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