You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
