They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Randomize
