great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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