YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
