You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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