I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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