I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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