I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
