White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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