She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
