roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
