dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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