do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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