Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
