dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
