i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
