um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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