i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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