If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
