yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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