I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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