the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
