Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
