I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
